WHO SAID YOU HAD TO HANDLE IT ALL? Stop The Toxic Thinking And Learn to Let Go.

There's this misconception that we have to get everything done and we have to do it all by ourselves. I can't speak for everyone else, but I can most definitely say that has been my thought process for many years. It wasn't until recently, that I realized that my way of thinking was toxic and it stemmed from some unresolved rejection or trauma that I had experienced.

I suffer from hyper-independence..........Yup, it's a real thing. I had this way of thinking that I would rather do it myself as opposed to asking for help. I struggled with asking for help, because of the fear that I had of it being thrown in my face that I had to receive help. I feared not being competent and capable enough. So I had to wonder where did this toxic thinking resonate from?

At some point and time in our lives we have all had to depend on someone, whether it was our parents, siblings, teachers or significant others. But somewhere down the line we expereinced some type of rejection or some type of broken trust and that's when our struggle with hyper-independence developed. Hyper-independence is a trauma response and it has us living a life that leaves us drained, angry and unfulfilled. It gives us this false reality that we have to handle it all, when we don't. This toxic way of thinking has caused me to lmiss out on so many opportunities and block so many blessings.

I had to work towards healing myself in order to rid myself of that toxic thinking. That healing process was a long and difficult journey and to be honest, I am still going through it. Each day gets easier and life keeps on moving. i had to learn to work through my trust issues. We learn from our past experiences cause us to build our views based on those experiences. Give yourself permission to experience. the beauty of faith and confidence in others. Once you began to do this, you allow meaningful relationships to develop. Having people that show up for you is important, but you have to allow them to show up for you. Remember that it’s ok to ask for help, even though it may seem scary, this is the first step to seeing how others can show up for you. This next tool is a difficult but necessary one…. learn to say no. It is important for you to know your limits. Saying no allows you to save yourself for yourself.

These things will not become second nature overnight, but remember that practice makes perfect. Stop trying to do it all by yourself…..you d have to. in the words of Erykah Badu, pack light. Let that stuff go and feel free!

Until next time my luvs…. Create a great day!

Coach Wendy